Last-Minute Gifts: Buy This, Not That.

You’re reading This Heaven Gives Me Migraine, a shopping newsletter about searching for lasting pleasures in a world of disposable garbage. This month, we’re rounding up gift ideas five at a time, each centered around a theme—this is the final installment of that series, mainly because we’re running out of days wherein any reputable retailer will promise your order will arrive in time for gifting. Listen, be nice to your postal service workers (and other delivery folk) this season. They have a thankless job and, without them, my dog would utterly cease to have meaning in her life. This newsletter will continue, with a less-gift-centric lens, in a form I cannot yet predict, in 2025. See you there.

The hour is upon us: you have a couple people left to shop for, and you’re starting to get kind of sweaty and frenetic about it. Shipping windows are closing. Stores seem to suck more than you remembered. You’ve suddenly forgotten everything you’ve ever known about your intended giftees, and are left grasping around in a fugue state—would they like a model train set? A gallon of boat primer? The panic has set in.

The answer: no, they would not like any of those things. Nor would they like any of the knee-jerk go-tos for last-minute gifting. But they might like something that’s sort of adjacent to those categories, but which lacks the subtle scent of desperation associated with them. Behold: the “This, Not That” issue.

1) Not another scented candle: Santa Maria Novella scented terracotta pomegranate ($75)
No shade to scented candles. I love a good scented candle. (Or even unscented! ICYMI: my many-thousand-word opus on tapers.) But there’s a reason the act of gifting a scented candle has its own SNL skit.

Enter: this terracotta pomegranate! Darling. It’s a handmade diffuser that gently fills the air with Santa Maria Novella’s Melograno Eau de Cologne fragrance, a spicy (and, if you ask me, somewhat seasonal) blend of bergamot, bitter orange, and (yes) pomegranate. Let it perfume your guest room, powder room, office…wherever. Conversation piece? You bet. And when its scent has ceased to be, it still makes for a chic objet to display on your bookshelf.

Today’s the last day for holiday delivery from Santa Maria Novella, but if you miss the cutoff, you can scoop one up on Amazon (for a not-inconsiderable markup—but we’ve all been there) with Prime delivery in time for 12/24.

2) Not another weird TJMaxx lotion set: Kate Mcleod The Body Stone Sampler Pack ($34)
Kate Mcleod’s “body stone” is really just a solid lotion bar (less packaging waste! More concentrated product! Nice application experience!) with a sexier name, but it’s a cult favorite for those in the know—which probably explains why 99% of the available varieties are sold out everywhere right now. However, you can still get this imminently giftable 4-pack of minis on the brand’s website (if you order tonight with overnight shipping, it’ll arrive in time). It’s a nice way to let your giftee sample a few different scents before committing to a full-size—or, since each is individually packaged, you could even split it up for 4 stocking stuffers.

Not into paying the steep overnight shipping? Sephora has a rawther festive* 2-pack of full-size special edition holiday scents (most applicable if your giftee happens to like gourmand fragrances, since they’re on the sweet side) for $50. You can get it by Monday the 23rd with standard shipping (free for VIB members), AND they’re offering free same-day delivery today with code GIFTSNOW if you happen to live in a place that offers that.

You *might* also be able to find the sampler pack (or even the Body Stone Starter Kit, which is fully unavailable everywhere online) at an IRL Sephora location if you’re super lucky. Check their “buy online and pick up” option in the app to confirm. (New Yorkers: supposedly you’ll have some options available at 34th Street and Union Square. But you might have to throw elbows.)

3) Not another “Oh, but you always love scarves!”**: Lost Pattern checkerboard twilly scarf ($38)
There are “I didn’t know what to get you” scarves, and then there are “I knew exactly what to get you” scarves. This, a twilly, or skinny scarf, is the latter. Lost Pattern has a surprisingly vast collection of these to choose from, each feeling a little more cool-girl than the last. The particular benefit of a twilly (besides immediately making the wearer seem like a cool girl) is that it’s versatile yet specific. Tied in a bow around the neck, it gives off a louche, 70s-does-victorian vibe. Left to hang, it’s rock-chic. Used as a headband, it’s “Umbrellas of Cherbourg”. Wrapped around the handle of a handbag, it’s preppy-posh and untouchable. Really, there are layers to the magic of what’s essentially just a skinny strip of silk.

Naturally, I’m drawn to this red and blue checkerboard number—a very Parisian-coded 1960s aesthetic that reminds me of (much spendier) Clare V. and makes me want to ride on a Vespa.

If you order from Lost Pattern today with expedited shipping ($10, which in this economy, isn’t bad for rush delivery), your gifts will arrive on time…and, code “GIFT15” will get you 15% off, which halfway counteracts the added cost.

4) Not another novelty popcorn assortment bucket: W&P popcorn popper (from $20)

I’m honestly embarrassed at how much this thing has improved my life. I’d be downright pissed—if I didn’t love it so much.

Sometimes, in the course of one’s time on this earth, you spend a lot of money on something after great deliberation and discover that it’s really worth it. Sometimes, you spend a lot of money on something after great deliberation and discover it’s really not worth it. And sometimes…some…times…you spend a stupidly small amount of money on something after great deliberation and it immediately and profoundly makes existence so much easier. And then you curse yourself, you curse both those other expensive things, and you curse all the wasted days you spent wandering in the darkness of ignorance.

I actually ruined one of my expensive (now-discontinued) bowl-plates because I insisted on maintaining a jenky home popcorn-microwaving system that was both very dish-intensive and very ineffective. I can never live down the shame of that. But at least now I know better: now I have my stupid $20 personal-sized popcorn vessel, and I make popcorn (the wildly pedestrian, bought-in-bulk yellow kernels from Whole Foods, or occasionally, the “rare and wonderful” crimson popping corn from Rancho Gordo) whenever I want, perfectly, with real butter and salt and occasionally Tajin (don’t knock it; I’m a recovering Takis addict and it helps take the edge off). I am out of the darkness of ignorance. I have exited the forest. I am in the clearing of popcorn enlightenment now. Join me, won’t you?

You can get W&P’s popper vessel, in personal or family size, on their (actually legit, brand-owned) Amazon storefront with Prime delivery in time for gifting.

5) Not another holiday PJ set: Bearaby TENCEL weighted blanket ($215)
I totally understand the prevalence of novelty holiday PJ sets. You’re thinking, “comfort & joy, right?” And you genuinely want your dear giftee to have those things: a relaxing, cozy, comfy holiday. Ideally, in a tasteful skiing reindeer motif.

The problem is that pajamas are HIGHLY subjective. What I prize in a pajama might be utterly and completely opposite from what you prioritize in a pajama. And since, for this garment above all others, comfort is key, there’s a good chance your intended recipient will relegate your well-meaning gift to live out its days in a drawer full of other well-meaning pajama gifts from auld acquaintances.

How can we rethink the impulse that led us to gift pjs in the first place? Comfort. Joy. Relaxation. A good, long winter’s nap. If you really care about your giftee’s sleep habits, a weighted blanket is a good place to start. A weighted blanket that looks appealingly chunky, hiding its heft in plain sight amid neat rows of knit stitches? Even better.

Bearaby remains (to my eyes) the only brand whose weighted blankets I’d actually let into my home on aesthetic grounds. They look nice tossed over a chair or folded neatly at the end of the bed. And then, when it’s time to zonk…you ZONK. And really, isn’t that the best Christmas gift of all?

Bearaby’s weighted blankets are 10-30% off right now (prices as marked), and you can order by 12/20 for 12/24 delivery. Hell, that alone will help you sleep easier.

Finally, before I go, I thought I’d leave you with an uncharacteristic SIXTH gift idea. Consider it “one to grow on,” for the New Year ahead…

Not another bottle of Champagne: Estelle Colored Glass set of 6 coupes ($143)
These will *not* arrive by Christmas. But they will (allegedly!) arrive by New Year’s, and really, that’s when you’re most likely to bring someone a host(ess) gift of Champagne, right? For reasons that aren’t quite clear to me, several colorways of Estelle Colored Glass coupes are on sale at Nordstrom right now—down to $143 from their regular $205 price point. This is a good deal for some really elegant glassware—especially the often-slept-on Amber Smoke shade, which looks much dreamier and more mysterious in real life than these photos indicate. Here are my Estelle Amber Smoke wine glasses, looking quite nice in the midwinter light, as proof. #nofilter.

Get your orders in! Don’t forget rush shipping! And to all…a good night!

That’s it. If you enjoyed this—or, maybe especially, if you purchased anything from this list—let me know. I don’t have affiliate links because I’m not a Real Person yet, so you can feel confident my recommendations are genuine.

*Hat tip: Eloise.
**Emma Thompson’s character to Alan Rickman’s character in Love Actually: Don't worry, my expectations are not that high after 13 years of Mr. "Oh-but-you-always-LOVE-scarves"!