"Mom, can you pick me up? She's talking about table linens again..."

You’re reading This Heaven Gives Me Migraine, a shopping newsletter about searching for lasting pleasures in a world of disposable garbage. We're now officially on what I call "the luge to the holidays"—and we're all powerless to resist it—which means we'll be gearing up to send out our highly-specific gift guides pretty soon. Make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss out.

Somehow, yet again, we have found ourselves at the start of November together. And thinking about that most polarizing of words, entertaining. Does it strike fear into your heart? Does it set you all aflutter? A mix of both? Both. Both is good.

I'll spare you the rumination on the nature of domesticity and the chronic devaluation of women's work this time (you can always go back to the Spring issue if you'd like to catch up), except to say that I've been reading Nora Ephron's Heartburn and it has once again reminded me that being a thoughtful, clever, worldly and well-educated woman is not and has never been in conflict with being able to cook and host dinner parties and redecorate the sunroom. (I do not have a sunroom, but if I did, you can bet I would be thinking about redecorating it.) I'm in a defensive crouch about this, as ever, which may say more about me than it does about Society. But the point is...If you like to do these things: do them. And be noisy about the fact that they are not vapid pursuits. This is the stuff of family. Of community. Of...life.

And if you're planning to do them this season, well...maybe start your tablescaping on the right foot with one of the table linen options below?

1) Petite Plume Signature Twill Tablecloth in Antique Red Ticking Stripe, $98

Are you being inundated with the "Ralph Lauren Holiday" home trend as well? It seems like everywhere I turn, the algorithm is accosting me with Blackwatch plaids and 90s catalogue photos of blonde children and labrador retriever puppies in sturdy Irish fisherman's sweaters. As an aesthetic, I'm not against it—I suspect it may have something vaguely unsettling to say, as most cultural obsessions do, about our current economic and political climate—but it's a perfectly nice look.

But I'm not a big fan of shopping based on trends, and besides—I'm someone who spent my entire adolescence screeching my distaste for the so-called "Preppy" aesthetic. Polo shirts make me physically nauseous, and my idea of festive winter knits is my HADES Joy Division sweater. (IYKYK.) So while I will regretfully be declining my invitation to participate in Ralph Lauren Holiday, there are some elements that are being cavalierly folded into the trend that are, I think, just "classic good taste". Exhibit A: a timeless ticking stripe. Enduringly elegant, but not overly fussy, it's a solid base layer to build your tablescape on, whichever direction you decide to go. Sure, layer on those Blackwatch plaids if you've graduated to expert pattern-mixing and go whole-hog Americana-via-British-Heritage. Or, like me, maybe you'll lean whimsical and pair it with red and burgundy rickrack-trimmed napkins.

The nice thing about a this fabric, aside from its classic connotations, is that it was originally a utility material—"ticking" and the later associated stripe was historically a heavy-duty twill used for making mattresses, woven tight enough so feathers or hay or whatever filling materials were at hand couldn't poke through. Fabrics are rich texts, and they retain some of their historic connotations even if you don't consciously know them—so there's something slightly utilitarian and humble about a ticking stripe. It can be dressed up, sure, but it's still associated with casual French Country style and cafe curtains, so it plays just as well with some workaday enamelware for a relaxed holiday breakfast as it does gussied up with gleaming brass chargers for a big dinner.

Now that we've had our brief history lesson...I'll note that I've bought some pajamas from Petite Plume in the past and was pleasantly surprised at the quality for the pricepoint, so I assume their tablecloths will pass muster as well. $98 for this size is a pretty good deal, and I'm certain you'll find plenty of opportunities to style and re-style it in your home until long after the concept of Ralph Lauren Holiday has faded from our memories (and browser histories).

I promise the rest of the writeups in this list will be shorter.

2) John Derian x Summerill & Bishop Sleeping Beauty Tablecloth, $393

The other thing that's going on right now in the home design space is that people are losing their everloving minds over the John Derian x Target collab. By the morning of the day it dropped it was already picked-over and sold-out almost everywhere, thanks to obsessives who stayed up until midnight and then placed pickup-in-store orders. (Spare a thought for the Target employees who had to carefully style out entire John Derian displays...and then trudge back to them, mere hours later, to ransack them for online orders.)

No shade on anyone for being a motivated shopper. I've had my fair share of obsessions, and I actually think the John Derian artichokes are pretty cute. But we're in search of rarer beasts, here in this newsletter. So may I present, for the unabashedly Extra person in your life: an OG John Derian collab, in the form of this absolutely bonkers Sleeping Beauty tablecloth.

If you click through to the product page, you can see how they've styled it both for springtime and for Holiday—and to me, this versatility is the mark of a good tablecloth. On the one hand, it's festooned with florals (pretty springy), but on the other hand, it's essentially red and green, so there you go. I can't quite explain it, but I feel like this would perform well with the Taylor Swift set too—the art is vaguely Ophelia-esque, isn't it?

It's pricey. It's insane. I love it. The heart wants what the heart wants.

3) Mrs. Alice Ethel Burnt Orange Tablecloth, from $158

Okay, let's not get too Christmassy too quickly. It's the first week of November. Maybe you're in the market for something a little more autumnal to take you through Thanksgiving before heading full-tilt into Holiday. In that case, I'd be remiss not to recommend the Ethel tablecloth in this burnt orange colorway: a garland-y motif that feels somewhere between William Morris wallpaper and old country Scandi-chic. Pair with simple burnt orange linen napkins, rumpled just-so, or really go for it and add Mrs. Alice's Mushroom Garland embroidered napkins which, as an extra-nice touch, can be monogrammed individually (for a fee) to make your go-to guests feel really at home.

4) Pomegranate Garden Plum & Ochre Tablecloth, from $86

Plum and ochre are very Thanksgiving-y as a color palette, and yet I don't think we're making use of this duo nearly enough during the festive season. Pomegranate, as always, has a whole host of beautiful and richly layered prints to choose from, all hand-block-printed in India on 100% cotton—you'll have trouble choosing if you browse for more than a few minutes. But let me just say this: how gorgeous would this particular print be with some cranberry-hued ceramics set out across the table? Very gorgeous indeed. (Note: my recommendation of this tablecloth has nothing to do with the fact that it's shown above with basically the same Murano glass tumblers I happen to own...but hey, game recognize game.) I'll also shamelessly note that I think some Bordeaux-toned tapers, like those we recently added to the shop at HEALER, would pair nicely here.

5) East Fork Shadow Print Table Linens in Sepia, $240

Something a little unexpected is always nice (even if you're not the type to go all-in on a sleeping beauty tablecloth). This exclusive table cloth made for East Fork has a cyanotype-style botanical motif that's just abstract enough, made fresh and new by being less "cyano" and more "sepia". It's harvest-y without being too literal about it, which is something I always appreciate (note the conspicuous lack of turkey motifs on this list). And because the print itself is oversized, you can afford to go with a small pattern for your napkins (maybe a ditsy floral a la Liberty of London, or a simple check motif?). Feel free to really let the accessories on the table go hard here, especially leaning into mixed metals to luxe up the look. While I always advocate for sourcing vintage napkin rings—there are just! so! many! good! options**!—these recycled glass swirls, also from East Fork, are also very charming.

Okay. That's it for now. As always, if you're looking for help sourcing something in particular, drop me a line and I'll do my best. Happy hosting!

**These are chickens, not turkeys, and I think you know that.