She's got the look

You’re reading This Heaven Gives Me Migraine, a shopping newsletter about searching for lasting pleasures in a world of disposable garbage.

Whenever I get the chance to spend time in a city I've previously lived in (and, to be sure, at this point there are a lot of cities I have previously lived in), it's a sort of surreal experience. The past may be a foreign country, but more often than not it feels like a foreign country in the way that Australia feels like a foreign country: 99% of everything is exactly the same, but then you notice that the roadkill you're speeding by at 60mph is a wallaby, and the birds nibbling street garbage around your feet are yellow-crested cockatoos. Which is to say: the differences are so much more alienating because they're so limited.

This was the experience of being back in New York for a few days. I braved the same holiday weekend crowds shopping in SoHo; I saw the same mysteriously-flush twentysomethings crowding their bistro tables with $18 Negronis; I felt the same siren-song pull of the stainless-clad Halal carts. In some ways, nothing was different. (Though I'm sure anyone who's lived there in the intervening years can send me a play-by-play litany of why I'm wrong. Indeed, I expect them to.)

The thing that was different, though, revealed itself much more gradually and, like those wallabies, felt even more bizarre for the lack of contrast surrounding it. On my last night in the city, ambling around St. Mark's Place where I used to attend the weirdest possible open mics back in the day, I finally was able to put my finger on it. Where was, for lack of a better word, the counterculture?

I'm not an idiot. I know that the answer is probably: Brooklyn. Or "proportionately further out in Brooklyn than it was in 2013." But that's not the complete answer; that's only, at best, where it pays rent. To me and many others like me—really, to anyone who had a brief and white-hot Jonathan Larson fixation in middle school—New York has always been a safe harbor for the freaks. A beacon that sweeps across America like a searchlight, saying "give me your outcasts, your weirdos. Your pierced aspiring art punks, yearning to breathe in the stench of our bizarre regional trash disposal regulations in August heat."

It's peak Old Person Behavior, I know, to mourn the loss of authenticity and grit in a city you no longer live in, a city where you arrived comfortably after its heyday—not that heyday, no, not that one either, but the one with The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, yep, even after THAT one—but it's not quite that. I know that New York hasn't been affordable for the true punks and weirdos for decades now. I know its slide toward "if you have to ask how much it is, it's too expensive" has been accelerating for a while, sped up by Covid and the shuttering of many of the last truly independent shops and retailers, replaced by yet another Capital One Cafe (seriously, what is this), yet another PRET, yet another Cava.

I allowed myself exactly one "I can't believe it's gone" this trip, and it was this: the Ricky's where a sympathetic cashier once opened the doors early so I could buy nude underwear because I had arrived at my office across the street only to discover my new white skirt was completely see-through, is now a bougie "millennial disrupter" dentist. Everything changes, blah blah blah, but Ricky's was a truly great institution and its loss represents something deeply sad for all New Yorkers, but especially the alt teens and tweens of the world. And actually, this is where I come to my point, if I have one: the politics of counterculture have, perhaps long ago, decamped to more affordable boroughs. But what's weirder to me now is that the aesthetics seem to have gone too.

Everywhere I went, young people—truly our one hope for the world—were all sort of dressed in the same Zara-Aritzia-H&M Teflon-y style. If there were aesthetic influences, none of them had stuck. It was impossible to tell where anyone had purchased anything, or even what designers those retailers may or may not have been ripping off. If I had to point to one retailer to define this aesthetic, it'd be Reformation, but even Reformation has a point of view at times. "Minimalism" is too kind. "Americana" is giving too much credit. I don't know what to call it, really, except maybe "Mall."

There were bright spots, of course. And somehow after spilling ~900 words of preamble I have the nerve to say that's what I'll be focusing on here. 5 bits of style, glimpsed in crosswalks and on subway steps, that stood out to me as distinctive, cool and worthy of imitation. A subtle defiance in an America that seems to have lost its will to fight against the mass market, or even to dress up like it has.

1) The Slip Skirt

By far, my favorite look of the week was a woman I crossed paths with downtown who was wearing what appeared to be a vintage slip with a big swath of lace at the bottom, paired with an oversized band tee. This seemed like the ultimate solve to the heat: loose but still feminine, sexy without trying to be, a little edgy. I do think the skirt she was wearing was true vintage, literally intended to be a slip—and if you want to replicate that, there are zillions of excellent options to be found on Etsy for about $30 or less, or at your favorite local vintage store where the slip section is probably criminally underutilized. For my own closet, I want the look but I want it in actual silk. Here are the best options I have found: From Doên, pictured above, for $348; From trusted fave La Ligne in a gorgeous rust color, for $395; From Fleur du Mal, with an exaggerated amount of sheer lace, for $298. Yes, these are a bit pricey, but you'd be amazed how much grift there is out there, and we are not spending $250+ on polyester, tencel or triacetate "satin" in this newsletter, thankyouverymuch. (However, we are also not buying from Quince, so if I find out you are using this inspo for evil, I will come for you.)

2) The Oversized Tee

The second part of this look is the oversized tee, which balances out the slinky, "I'm outside in my underthings" element of the skirt and makes it, well, cool. You probably already have a handful of big concert tees in your closet that would work well for this, but on the off-chance you don't, or if you want something with a cleaner look, this option from tee-experts Sold Out NYC for $115 is very compelling (the longer sleeve is excellent, and a drop-shoulder is ideal for this particular look), and I'm also interested in this vintage-inspired style from NA NIN for $68. But again, I encourage you to hit your favorite vintage stores and try things on. Tee shirt fits are mysterious but when you find one that hits right, there's no better feeling in the world. (Be sure to roll your sleeves, too.)

3) The Wrap Necklace

I spotted a couple of these long, beaded clasp-less necklaces being worn out and about in New York and was delighted—and not just because I randomly bought one last winter. These 1920s-inspired styles feel like a natural evolution from the tassel craze that's been increasing in freneticism for the past few seasons, and I for one am excited to see a really different jewelry silhouette gaining steam. The genius here is twofold: one, there are multiple ways to style this, whether knotted loose, looped, or worn asymmetrically. Some can even be worn as a belt. Two, a long statement necklace like this does a ton of the heavy lifting outfit-wise, so it's great for what I like to call The Jewelry Is The Outfit, and let's be honest, when it's high July, we're all trying to get away with as little "outfit" as we can. (Perhaps to be continued in a future newsletter. Let me know if you're interested.)

Anyway—you simply must go vintage for a necklace like this, even if you're only pulling from a few decades ago and not committing to full antique (which may be more precious than you want to deal with for everyday jewelry). The internet doesn't seem fully in agreement about what these are called—some say Lariat, but I think a lariat usually does have a clasp of some sort. A lot of folks say "flapper necklace" but I worry you'll fall into costume cast-offs if you search that. "Opera necklace" really just means "long," so the shape may not be right, but worth a look. I've had the best luck by searching "tassel wrap necklace," "tassel tie necklace," "long tassel necklace," etc., and adding in a material. (Hint: "925" is an additional search term for sterling silver, but those who put that in their descriptions are more likely to be jewelry people, so you may hit higher price points. Honestly I could do a whole newsletter about jewelry search terms too. IDK.) Anyway, here are a few of my favorites from a quick perusal: charming vintage red glass bugle beads from eBay, pictured above, $50; cool black and silver number with a Chinoiserie-style detail on the tassels, $30; neutral/gold seed beads for $41 (this is the closest to the style I have); VERY chunky and extra-glam gold-toned seed beads with sort of fishtail-weave detail, $85; gold-plated and freshwater pearl option for $75 (honestly, this is from Home Shopping Network but no shade—real freshwater pearls plus gold plating over sterling silver, not a crummy base metal, for $75? That feels well worth it to me. Don't sleep on HSN resale.); hematite and garnet with sterling silver accents for $79 (the dressiest of the bunch, imho).

4) The Loafer

I love a loafer. I am a loafer lifer. But in the summer I find it very hard to generate the necessary enthusiasm to wear anything but sandals. However that may change. Seeing what a good pair of loafers can do for an otherwise unremarkable summer outfit has me convinced. While I don't totally subscribe to Wrong Shoe Theory, I do think that a more polished, more structured shoe paired with a wispy summer 'fit adds the good kind of tension to your look. It's a little...rakish?

Crucially, this is not a summer-specific loafer. It's a classic year-round loafer that you happen to wear in the summer. Not suede. Not a boat shoe. Something with shine. Top contenders: this pair from Freda Salvador, in black or espresso croc, for $398 (ideally paired with their genius Crescent Loafer Charms, $128); a fun take on the horsebit style with a fresh trefoil accent from Larroude for $315; or these made-in-Italy low-heel loafers from Suzanne Rae for $550 (inclusive sizing!!! and while you're there, you should really pick up the incredible on-sale Dali slipper for the rest of your summer plans).

5) The Mod Little Shift Dress

This one is sort of cheating. Because while I did not see Sienna Miller wearing the perfect shift dress in New York, while I was in New York, owing to the fact this photo was taken in 2007, I do very much agree that this is the ideal thing to wear in the summer in the city. (Big shoutout to the excellent Jenny Sais Quoi substack for putting this image/reference on my radar, and less than 24 hours after I had purchased my own little linen shift dress, no less!)

For something similarly mod, effortless, and breathable, this is one of those rare occasions where the usual suspects actually deliver, retail-wise: a 100% linen boatneck option from J. Crew, $148; a very Kennedy-coded cotton number from LESET, $120; Nordstrom's house label for $100 (don't forget about department stores' house brands, especially when shopping vintage); MUJI's option, which is a little longer, and made from French linen, for $80; and my beloved Eileen Fisher who goes FULL MOD with a little mockneck and pockets (!) for $198.

That's it. Thank you for listening to my screed, and, god willing, maybe even hanging on long enough to actually get some shopping recommendations. If you're a vintage jewelry enthusiast, I'd be remiss if I didn't remind you that HEALER's second annual curated vintage collection is coming soon and you can sign up for first dibs on the drop HERE. If you read some or honestly any of this and found it interesting, let me know what part(s) appealed to you, and I'll use it to guide future issues (and maybe even get out of one of them in under 3000 words. Maybe.).